Michael Symon's B Spot - Strongsville, OH

Four of Five Pebbles

Have you ever hit the Spot? I mean, the Spot? That spot that makes you moan with pleasure, causes your heart to skip a beat, raises your blood pressure, over works your salivary glands, decreases your I.Q. and releases sticky, tasty juices that run all over your fingers and lips? Of course you haven't. That was a stupid question. Forget about it. Because if you had, you'd be doing it right now!

But let's get serious for a moment. Like Meriwether Lewis and William Clark, those famous explorer with a taste for wild adventures and indian maidens, some of us have set out on journeys in search of the elusive spot without the luxury of previous experience, guidance from our friends or parent (because they never found it either), nor any idea from Garmin of how to get to where we are going. Wherever that may be. You understand, don't you? It is quite difficult to define that which has only been found by a handful of over achievers who, up until recently, have kept the secret of the spot all to themselves. 

So zip up that droopy frown because there is still hope for us laypeople to whom the gods have yet to bestow the gift of discovery (yeah, we'll call it that). There are, in fact, a few that have come before us who are more than willing to share their wisdom and experience with those less fortunate than themselves. One particular bald member of this exclusive society is a talented and well known meat slinger by the name of Michael Symon.

Michael's legendary meat prowess is available to everyone with a few bucks to toss around in one of his B Spot burger restaurants. With numerous locations from which to choose, Michael makes it easy to find one of his spots. I chose the Strongsville, Ohio location for its proximity to mine and asked for the Red Hot Burger special.

The Red Hot burger, although a view at the right angle and light makes it appear other worldly (like food from Uranus), it is indeed quite flavorful and packs just enough of a kick. The soft brioche bun was well toasted but the bottom became soggy quickly with all of the juices that ran out when I gave the burger a gentle squeeze. That, unfortunately, left me having to use a knife and fork to finish. The barbecued pork atop the burger gave some nice acidity and was a Carolina style accompaniment. The burger patty was surprisingly tender and cooked a perfect medium (as I requested) with a bit of salt and pepper. With the addition of jalapeños and a layer of melted jack cheese, the flavors climax in your mouth and will keep you coming back for more!

The Lola fries were crispy and tender while the Lola ketchup, which tasted of ancho chili and cumin, paired well with them. Unfortunately, the onion rings left much to be desired and did not appear to have been hand breaded. If, in fact, they were of the frozen variety, I find it an unacceptable alternative in both class and flavor.

Overall, the flavors at this B Spot were spot-on (sorry) and far above the average burger joint. The speed at which my meal was served after I ordered was impressive, even by the standards of a thirteen-year-old boy with his father's bedside magazines.

The meal was enjoyable and I do believe the praises thus far received by Michael Symon are well deserved and likely to continue. After having had this experience and having been shown the way a burger should be, I now frequently have dreams of that wet, juicy goodness oozing around my finger and I find myself with a strange longing for another shot at the B Spot.

Rick's Press Room - Meridian ID

Stop the presses! There's something punny going on here!

Via buzzfeed.com

Headlines are what draw your interest to a newspaper and can sometimes make or break an edition. Not that anyone under the age of thirty knows what a newspaper is anymore, or even what news is that doesn't involve a social network link. Rick and Julie over at Rick's Press Room know a little bit about newspapers and headlines; or at least it would appear so to the casual observer in their little restaurant in downtown Meridian. The walls are littered with headlines of dead people and old crap nobody cares about anymore. But don't  judge the place by the decor.

The one thing everyone that comes to Rick's Press room does care about, other than trying to catch a glimpse of Guy Fieri and his trademark Comaro (give it up kids, Guy has left the building!), is the food that has received quite a few raves from some of the locals and international customers, many of which have adorned the walls of Rick's Press Room with their own headlines via Sharpie. So, I decided to follow the crowd and try out this little joint. 

I was in the mood to sniff out a good story and it just so happened that the smoker was spewing its little love puffs right outside the front entrance. Nice marketing! Not sure what was in the smoker, but I'm certain it was worthy of its own story below the fold. Now, I think I know what Rick and Julie (the owners - hence the name "Rick's Press Room" - keep up kids) were going for with the interior of the place; that eclectic, shabby, recycled newspaper design with a feeling of casualness and fun, but it was more reminiscent of my old college dorm room than a restaurant setting you would expect to see based on all of the published raves. But my college dorm room was a lot of fun and as I recall, there may have been a bit of smoking going on in there too. So, maybe it works. 

I asked about the specialties of the house and was told that pretty much everything was good (canned answer. C'mon, grow a pair! This is your chance to push the highest margin dish!). So I decided to go with a bit of seafood and ordered the Crab Melt with a bowl of the Clam Chowder. Say it with me . . . chow-dah! My dining partner had the raved about burger with simple bacon and cheddar (che dah). we also ordered a loaf of their warm sour dough bread with butter to get our taste buds hopping. 

As promised, the bread was warm and also moist in the center with a crispy crust. The accompanying real butter was a nice contrast to the whipped look-a-likes you normally get at restaurants. Not bad.

The chowder was the soup of the day and I found myself wishing for a little more density to the bowl. A bit loose for my taste and a little shy on flavor, but it did have plenty of clams, potatoes and celery and went well with a bit of the sour dough bread. Pretty good, but not great. 

The crab melt was not what I expected. The copious amounts of mayo and Parmesan really overwhelmed the mechanically separated crab meat, that didn't have much flavor to begin with, and it became lost in the struggle for prominence within the sandwich. The crab filling was topped with melted Swiss cheese. Typically, the blending of cheese and seafood is a no-no situation and liable to make chefs and food critics a bit crabby. In this instance, I happen to agree. Even though there was a good amount of crab meat in the filling, the combination of the other heavy handed ingredients really didn't do the sandwich any favors and I would have opted for a smaller portion with an emphasis on the crab than the mayo and cheese. 

The burger was cooked well done (as requested by my dining partner) but still retained its moisture and was tender. A bit of salt would have enhance the meat flavor. The bacon was slightly limp but not bad and the cheddar was typical for the area. The accompaniments seemed fresh and crisp, but the most redeeming quality of the burger was the bun; it was warm, moist and was toasted nicely for a bit more added texture. The fries . . . . frozen! Seriously?! We are in Idaho, people. What does it take to get some good fries around here?! The service we received was outstanding! Prompt, attentive, but not overbearing. Kudos!

Overall, really not a bad meal, no headlines worthy of the National Enquirer, but maybe the Red Bud Gazette might be an option. 

Culver's - Twin Falls ID

Wisconsin is known to many as only having two distinct seasons; nine months of winter and three months of bad sledding. But weather is not the only thing that I remember about the state; cool summers, no poisonous snakes, Badgers, brats, pig on a cow (you gotta be from there to get that one), a bar on every corner (sometimes two) and the omnipresent fried cheese curds are all iconic images that are conjured up whenever you think about the dairy state. Oh yeah, there is one more thing . . . Butterburgers!

Butterburgers are another icon that have been making their way out of the borders of Wisconsin, and we have Culver's to thank for it! Culver's, from its origins in Sauk City, WI (a location I have personally frequented), to their newest location in the heart of Idaho, has been providing some of the best quick service burgers in the country! Andrew Zimmern seems to also agree with my opinion over at his site.

Photo from Culver's.com

I migrated to Idaho less than a year ago and have been jonesing for a good quick service burger since I got here, so when I heard of the new Culver's Twin Falls location, I made a point to schedule a visitation! As I pulled up to the parking lot, I felt right at home! The interior was also reminiscent of all other locations and I began to anticipate the flavors.

I was greeted with extreme warmth. And even though the young girl taking my order was new, she was being assisted by the owner's mother who was there from Beloit Wisconsin to help her son open the store and train the new employees. Shen engaged each customer and thanked them for coming in. A nice personal touch.

The food at Culver's has always been quick and delicious. The fries are always hot and fresh and I have never had a complaint about messed up orders or poor quality food. Never. Today was no exception. Good food and friendly service at a  reasonable price. Add to that the cheese curds and the frozen custard and you just made me a very happy customer!

I sincerely hope that Culver's continues their expansion into Idaho. Rumor has it that a Meridian location is planned for 2015 which is where I currently reside. I, for one, can't wait!

Yard House - Meridian, ID

Didn't your mother ever tell you to go out and play in the yard? Did you go out there with your underwear outside of your pajamas with your Mickey Mouse towel cape and pretend you were a Green Beret, or Bear Grylls, or perhaps Gilligan sneaking a three hour peak at Marianne in a grass skirt? Or was that just me?

So it was just me. I can deal with that. What I can't deal with is ordering a hamburger cooked medium and getting one that is cooked well done! Dry meat in between dry buns is not an ideal situation. Not even in the bedroom. A dry burger patty is a rookie mistake and it's exactly what I got at Yard House.

Surf and Turf Burger

I chose to try the Surf and Turf burger. At about $15, it is topped with Maine lobster sauteed in garlic butter, grilled asparagus and Swiss cheese, all on a bed of raw spinach with a side of tomato Bearnaise and a brioche bun. Great combination. The lobster was tender (shocker) and the tomato Bearnaise was actually quite flavorful but not to the point of being overwhelming to the rest of the flavors in the stack. The meat, although a bit dry since it was overcooked, still held on to a bit of char and flavor which made it quite pleasant. Overall, the burger had good flavor but lacked a bit of moisture internally. I chose to moisten my meal with a traditional flight of brews. At least the beer was wet and offered a nice contrast to the burger. Many beers from which to choose. The accompanying fries and service were nothing to write home, or blog, about, so I won't.

I had a decent experience and I would be tempted to try other dishes and beer flight combinations in the future. So, if you are in the mood for a burger experience that's slightly better than you can belly up to at the counter, try The Yard. It's better than any dangly goat balls Mr. Grylls would likely eat, but not as juicy as you might expect from a three hour tour.

Pebble Score

The Counter - Meridian ID

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to challenge yourself how you think about burgers. At least that's what the folks over at The Counter want you to do. They are about creative construction and feel they make things delicious with what I am convinced must be Monsanto inspired ingredients. Life is about experiences, and if you want to try stuff, learn something or be creative, try your local college dorm. There, you will not only have more fun picking off the scabs you got from your last sexual escapade, but will so intensify your senses from the endless consumption of gourmet frozen-burrito-ramen-noodle-doo, that you will actually enjoy paying high prices for the food at The Counter.

It is without a doubt in my mind that the vast number of toppings available for your creation can only be made possible through the efforts of Nicolas Appert and the magic of butylated hydrocyanisole and hydroxytoluene. How else can they afford to keep that many ingredients in one place? I hope I'm wrong and that their Market Selections are in fact sourced daily and not preserved.

My particular creation started with the hormone and antibiotic free beef, then it was topped with Gouda cheese (a personal favorite), sun-dried tomatoes, roasted green chilies, and the roasted garlic aioli all on a standard brioche bun to preserve the flavor of the ingredients. Along with the Parmesan fries, it all sounded like a delightful and flavorful combination to me! This is what it looked like:

Now, don't let the looks fool you! The burger was in desperate need of salt and was simply not impressive; the bun was dry, the tomatoes had little flavor, the garlic aioli was okay but still lacked garlic and the green chilies tasted like, well, what you might imagine a Leprechaun penis would taste like . . . green with a just a hint of Guinness! The Parmesan fries were dissolving in their own grease and became more limp than the aforementioned Leprechaun.

The only redeeming quality of The Counter was the service! Our server and the rest of the staff were fantastic. Friendly, welcoming and efficient, almost to a fault. A wonderful crew, indeed and I would go back and try a shake just to be served by them one more time.

My personal burger combination at The Counter was not at all what I had built up in my mind and the cost made the whole meal even harder to swallow. With over 312,120 ways to to build your burgers, you could spend a lifetime creating and devouring different combinations! Unfortunately, only one combination was enough to convince me that there were perhaps 312,119 too many. Consider me disappointed.

Pebble Score

Serious Burger. Seriously!

How do you make a hormone? That is perhaps a more baffling question than "Why did the chicken cross the road?". As children, we were often told of the trials and tribulations of the disoriented chicken and the many reasons why it would ever want to cross the road. From "To cock-a-doodle-do something", or the standard "To get to the other side", the answer was never really known. That is, until now! 

According to the National Institute of Health, the real reason that chickens began crossing roads is because, much like humans, they developed a taste for artificial colors, man made ingredients and pink slime in their food. The cravings and sudden urges of the Gallus gallus domesticus brought on by the jonesing affect of monosodium glutamate and nitrate infested foods is the real reason behind the chicken's erratic behavior patterns. 

Those same patterns have recently been observed in humans. Additional studies by authorities such as the World Health Organization, the World Health Animal Trust and the Wholesome Hygiene Earth Resources Entity, have proven that 87.3% of all restaurant food consumed in the United States contains nearly 76% of the worlds badifoyasodum concentration! For those of you not familiar with the class of chemicals badifoyasodum, there are many articles referencing its use in the US food supply and additional information can be found by simple internet searches. Simply stated, badifoyasodum is the leading cause of crossing the road for no apparent reason among both chickens and humans alike! 

So, how does one avoid being poisoned with badifoyasodum (also known as BFD Syndrome)? It's really quite simple. STOP EATING CRAP FOOD! For starters, look for freshly prepared foods when you dine out. Food with minimal ingredients, rGBH free beef and organic labeling. Yes, these foods cost a bit more, but is it not worth your health to spend a bit more for quality?

 I bring all of this up because I recently stopped by Serious Burger in Appleton, Wisconsin. Yes, it is a bit pricier for a burger joint, but you get what you pay for! You can go to Five Guys (which I have on more than one occasion) and get mediocre food with ingredients that are only found on the banned list in many European countries and you will pay a bit less, but what are you getting? Nothing special. You might as well be eating slime burgers for what it's worth. 

The service at Serious burger was fine. The flavor of the beef and the quality of the fresh Brioche bun was outstanding! On my list of the top three burgers I have ever eaten! The fresh fried egg added richness to the entire experience and the seasoning was just right. The Truffle Oil fries were nothing special and I would recommend sticking to the regular fries, but that burger is certainly something to write about!

So if you have the taste buds of an average moron who enjoys a burger simply because it took more than four guys to make it and costs a bit less, by all means have it your way. But if you really want to enjoy the flavor of organic beef on a fresh bun and you have an extra buck to spend on your health, go to Serious Burger.

It only takes eating a Serious Burger to make you moan with pleasure. To make a hormone, however, you have to not pay her. 

Foodie Quickie @ La Pachanga - Plover WI

Pebble Score:

La Pachanga is the newest Mexican restaurant to migrate into the central Wisconsin area. "La Pachanga" is actually a Cuban term about dancing or music or something and it literally means: "The Pachanga". But what does "The Pachanga" have to do with Mexican food? Well, nothing, I guess. The only thing you need to know about The Pachanga is that they have pretty good food and pretty good service.

I tried the Chili Colorado with the hot ranchero sauce option even though I was quite puzzled as to what the entire dish had to do with our 38th state. I mean, strips of real beef, properly cooked rice, un-burnt beans and some warm corn tortillas do not remind me of Cartman's favorite Denver restaurant. It was only after my meal was placed before me that I had my very own Richard Dreyfuss Close Encounters moment . . . the meat looked like the Rocky Mountains! The jagged peaks of the strips of tender beef intertwined by cascading onion slivers that resembled the Gandy Dancer ski trail on Vail Mountain were all quite reminiscent of the Rockies and I was happy to have had at last felt that pioneering feeling of discovering the origins of a dish! Imagine my surprise , however, when the first bite reminded me less of the Rocky Mountains than that of Mount Kilauea. Great kick with pretty good flavor.

My experience was good and I hope that "La Pachanga" will survive the first six months. In my opinion, it is one of the best Mexican restaurants near the corner of Cedar Street and Post Road. 

Polonia Cafe - Polonia WI

Date of Visit: 4-01-2012

Time of Visit: 9:10 AM

Pebble Score:

Two Poles immigrated to America. On their first day in New York City, they spotted a hot dog vendor in the street. "Do they eat dogs in America?" one asked the other. "I dunno." "Well, we're going to live here, so we might as well learn to do as they do." So they each bought a hot dog wrapped up and sat down to eat them on a nearby park bench. One Pole looked at his hot dog, then over at the other Pole and asked, "What part did you get?"

So, I am stomping on my brakes and typing this quite a bit slower than I normally would. Why? Well, if you have to ask, than I'm writing this for you. I, thought, I, would, put, in, an, extra, comma, now, and, then, to, slow, the, pace,, but, that, just, makes, me, look, like, I, am, part, of, the, "in", crowd. 

There is a misconception that Poles are from Poland, but, as a matter of fact, they come from either the North or the South. Despite the prejudice that surrounds Poles, they are responsible for a variety of inventions and discoveries that have all but dispelled the notion that they can't change a light bulb without ensuing hilarity or that they are easily coaxed out of a tree. Reality about Poles is quite contrary to popular beliefs: Poles are famous for their vaults and their beans; it was a Pole that won the first auto racing time trials; Presidents have relied on their systems to become elected; and Poles were instrumental  with the delivery of electricity to rural areas of the country.

We, as Americans, are familiar with many great slogans that have become the icons of this great nation. Slogans like: "Only you can prevent forest fires.", "Take a bite out of crime.", "A mind is a terrible thing to waste.", and "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.", are all shining examples of the intellectual minds at work within our marketing borders. Poles are in no way less than masters of the slogan. In fact, Pole masters have come up with a great new tag line that is one of the best I've ever encountered: "Poles, helping dancers pay their bills one dollar at a time!"

Food is another area where Poles excel, and although Pole masters have not come up with a slogan that epitomizes their strudel, kielbasa or pierogi, their eating establishments found throughout Wisconsin are typically a crap-shoot of mediocrity or fabulousness. Of the establishments I have encountered, the Polonia Cafe bullseyes more towards the fabulousness than the mediocrity. 

This little cafe in the middle of Polish America is a buzz with all of the locals and passers-by alike. I have had the pleasure of dining here on a couple of occasions and have never been disappointed with either the service or the food. Becky, our server on this Sunday morning, was pleasant and could take and dish out a bit of sass which gained her high marks in my book! The decor was laden with Packer paraphernalia (surprise!) but also displayed the pride and history of the town in the many vintage photographs that were scattered throughout. Perhaps the only downside to the atmosphere and feel of yesteryear, was the constant staccato sounds of tubas and accordions that blurted out from the little white discs from hell mounted on the ceiling.

This place is small and can get quite busy during prime meal hours, so if you don't like patrons that are waiting for a seat to salivate all over themselves while watching you eat your homemade meal, you may want to take a seat on the edges of the dining room or come in just before or after prime times.

You can judge the quality of the ingredients used in an establishment by the quality of the condiments on the tables. Polonia Cafe not only has the Smucker's jams and jellies, but they also provide the flavored International Delights creamers right at the table. The food that was delivered reflects the quality ingredients that are used and was perfectly cooked and quite flavorful with a hint of a seasoned cast iron. No salt was needed and I enjoyed every bite! 

I hope everyone that reads this post (both of you, thanks) will give this little gem in the midst of  Portage County and the Polish Heritage Highway a try to help support the local Polish community. Perhaps, together, we can finally put to rest the playground like bullying that has suppressed these great people and the Poles can finally stand erect. With a little work and a stroke of luck, there can be an erect Pole in all of us!

Foodie Quickie @ Solea - Appleton WI

The apparent bastard child of an illegal Mexican and a Polish immigrant, Solea delivers a bland selection of nondescript food lacking in personality, flavor, and distinction that evokes anyone with a pallet, not made of wood and stacked in a rodent infested warehouse, to cry out in pain and wonder if they had somehow traveled back to their infancy glued in to an out-of-date car seat strapped to a Flux Capacitor and were, in fact, eating an old jar of Gerber Squash (have you ever tried that stuff? Ewe!). Whereas, the Mexican side of the equation works hard to fill your need for sustenance with beans, rice and meat but forgot to bring the cumin along for good measure, the Polish side just sits there and wonders what to do and why their friendly one-armed cousin just fell out of a tree! The lack of flavor left my own pallet feeling lonely and completely disregarded by the entire student body . . . just like Jr. high school gym class. 

Frontier Restaurant - Amherst WI

Date of Visit: 3-25-2012

Time of Visit: 10:00 AM

Pebble Score:

Legends in Central Wisconsin have long told of the first hardy settlers in the area and how they drove their dairy herds from the Southern plains all the way up to the richest milking lands in the country. From Holsteins and their non-prejudistic black and white spots, to Jerseys with "R" pronunciation impediments, the majestic herds drove on through the rain, sleet, snow and darkness of night until they reached the lush and fertile grounds of the promised land. Although the journey was beset with difficulties, the settlers were instrumental in laying down the first building blocks of what is now the greatest cheese and butter producing region in the country. 

The cows were so happy that they rewarded the people with milk so rich in cream that the only thing to do was to make a pound of butter for each and every inhabitant in the area. This land was the frontier to butter giant Land-O-Lakes and paved the way for that cute little squaw on their butter package that if you fold the picture just right and cut out the top of her blouse, it looks like her breasts are hanging out!

After years of stockpiling butter instead of nuclear warheads, and an unfortunate event where the dairy section of the food pyramid became a side note on the new "food plate", a new avenue for butter consumption had to be found or we would risk sliding into a recession worse than the one that befell gyros. Luckily, restaurateurs across the nation heeded the call of the wild and have collectively managed to keep dairy farmers in Wisconsin operational. Now, any new charge must have a leader, and the restaurant leading the charge for butter consumption in the country is the Frontier Restaurant in Amherst, Wisconsin. 

I had the opportunity to visit this restaurant for breakfast on a beautiful Saturday morning where everyone, it appeared, was there to ensure I had the most wonderful eating experience of my existence. . . they failed. When a place is busy, I always expect a bit slower service and don't fault the staff, but personality is another story. Tina greeted us with the exuberance of an ocean tube worm and I could tell right away we were sliding off the borderline in a hurry! 

The decor was predominantly country and I found myself surrounded by wood. The tongue in groove kind and a host of other. We ordered at 10:11 am. I happily requested the 8-ounce chopped steak, over easy eggs, hash browns and home-made raisin toast, while my breakfast companion opted for the bacon and eggs plate. The drinks arrived six minutes later (that's 10:17 for those that can't add very fast) and then the food came at 10:33 a full 22 minutes after we ordered it. 

My egg whites had the consistency of a dried out Trojan, the steak was overcooked but was still juicy and had great grill marks with a small amount of seasoning. Too little for my taste. My companion's eggs were omelet like and were accompanied by tough bacon. Now I was out of coffee. I pushed my hash browns to the side and instantly regretted the move. The rush of butter to the center of my plate must have created an imbalance in the space time continuum and I instantly understood why everyone in town was here . . . to save the cows! 

My home made raisin toast, which I had been looking forward to trying, suffered a similar fate as the hash browns. I picked it up and managed to squeeze out about a teaspoon full of the oleo from each slice! Needless to say, I did not eat most of my breakfast. Tina asked me if I wanted a box to take home my leftovers, but I politely declined as I feared a return of the Blob and I knew Steve McQueen wouldn't be there to pull me out!

Ghee, even though my experience with the Frontier Restaurant and their eternal  stick-of-slick was not to my liking, there are many other folks who enjoy the establishment, so who am I to spread any ill feelings? Try them for yourself. I now wish I had taken that box from Tina because I am planning a trip to Mexico, and if I get a sunburn, I know I will hear my mother say, "Just put some butter on it!"

Famous Dave's - Appleton, WI

Date of Visit: 3-15-2012

Time of Visit: 12:30

Pebble Score:

Chicken, ribs or steak, it don't matter what you cook. If it ain't been barbecued, then it don't cut it in my book. From the back roads of the deep South to the Texas panhandle, I have had the pleasure of sampling some of this country's best BBQ. Arthur Bryant's, Charles Vergos' Rendezvous, Baker's Ribs and countless other juke joints throughout the South have left me with an insatiable craving for that myoglobin/carbon monoxide reaction that can only come from slow smoking unsuspecting  and lethargic animals in huge pits of fire and brimstone! YUM! 

Enter, stage left, Famous Dave's. I first discovered Dave's BBQ at his Blues Club on Hennepin Avenue in Minneapolis soon after moving to Wisconsin from South Texas (what the hell was I thinking?). I enjoyed a great night of beer, blues and cue with some co-workers and I have been a loyal follower ever since!

I recently had the opportunity to sample Dave's Appleton, Wisconsin store. Same decor as most of his other stores (There's a sale at Penny's!) with the all too familiar aroma of burnt offerings coming from the kitchen. Those burnt offerings rejuvenate everything! If you close your eyes, you can see the old empty steel drums found by Billy Bob and Bubba down by that der canal over yonder, cut in half and brimming with hardwood coals and ashes. Betcha can get some good flavor from them drums. Heck, they got them bone pictures on 'em! But I digress. 

I was seated by the hostess (fancy!) and then ordered the Rib Tips (naked, of course) with the Roasted Chicken, BBQ beans and fries. Being the lunch rush, things took about 15 minutes, but I was able to entertain myself by scribbling dirty words, in alphabetical order (I have to do it in alphabetical order, I am a little CDO), on all of the sugar and not-so-sugar packets. The couple seated behind me must have thought me strange when I kept giggling and then kindly asked to exchange my container for theirs. Luckily, the food arrived before I got the letter "F". 

The naked tips were mounded on half my plate. I read a review of this restaurant on Urbanspoon by ManBearPig that you should never order the tips because they are meat scraps and the marrow leaks out of the bones. YUM! Apparently, this neanderthal had no idea that rib tips are short, meaty sections of rib that are attached to the lower end of the spare ribs, between the ribs and the sternum. Unlike back ribs or spare ribs, the structure of the rib is provided by dense costal cartilage, NOT BONE! Bonehead! Rib tips are cut away from the spare ribs when preparing St. Louis Style spare ribs.

Anyway, the tips were a bit greasy with loads of fat but the dry rub is full of flavor and lends itself quite well to be dunked with a multitude of sauces. The beans were great with a nice BBQ flavor and the chicken was a little dry but flavorful. Now, you might ask why I got my Rib Tips NAKED? Simple, really. If you get them naked, you can savor each one with a different sauce! The Texas Pit, Devil's Spit, and the Georgia Mustard are my favorites and I never, ever, use ketchup for my fries. With all of those sauces on the table, why would you use anything else?

Dave's Sauces

The service was okay, but nothing to write home about. So I won't write about it.

Overall, for a Northwoods boy, Dave does a fine job with BBQ and I am able to get my smoke fix whenever I have the occasion to be traveling near one of his joints. The best part of the meal was that wonderful corn muffin they serve on every plate! Like sucking Kansas through a bee's ass (maybe they will use that characterization in their menu)! Not sure how they make those delectable little morsels, but i'm certain Dave will be more than willing to share his recipe with me so I can then post it to this blog and become famous myself! But I'm not holding my breath because, just like the rib tips, there's a fat chance of that! 

El Mezcal - Marshfield, WI

Date of Visit: 03-12-2012

Time of Visit: 6:00 PM

Pebble Score:

Oh, Mexico. I never really been but I'd sure like to go. Where I'd imagine the sun warms your skin, causes the agave to grow to astounding heights and you find yourself wishing you had a damn hat or some SPF 30! Luckily, for us northern folk, we can get a bit of the divine flavor from our south facing immigrant producing machine right in our own back yards. It seems like Mexican restaurants have sprouted up everywhere like illegals trying to hide under a cabbage truck. So many, in fact, that giant burritos, churros and sizzling fajita plates have become ubiquitous in American cuisine.

I recently had the opportunity to visit El Mezcal in Marshfield, WI. This restaurant comes highly recommended by the locals as is evident by their Urbanspoon rating. The decor is quite a cliche' and you can just imagine yourself whisked away to some fiesta in the heart of San Francisco by a gay caballero! Still, the place is inviting and has a festive feel. The hostesses were of non-suntanned descent and I immediately felt as if I had been sucked into some sort of oxymoronic time warp where I was certain to find both Amilia Earhart and Herve Villechaize enjoying happy hour margaritas on the wings of a Lockheed Electra yelling; "Da plane! Da plane!"

I was accompanied by a few other members of my family and we were quickly seated in one of those long booths that have multiple tables and wouldn't you know it, right next to some of the only other patrons in the place. Strike one. The chips and salsa came flying in hot, flavorful and never-ending. Another human of non-suntanned descent took our order and politely asked if we needed anything right away. Since we happened to be celebrating one of our group's birthday, we gladly threw them under the bus and asked for a Mexican Hat Dance! This was going to be hilarious! 

Our food came out quickly and was served hot with warm plates to ensure the cheeses stayed melted. Good call. An order of meat nachos, cheese nachos, a taco salad with more meat than lettuce, cheese sauce, bean dip, more chips and salsa, and an order of pork chile colorado with six mechanically produced tortillas were laid out before us. Everyone was happy with their choice of food and the portions were generous. The chili colorado (my dish) was a little tough, but was flavorful with a twinge of heat. I added some bottled Tapatio salsa and all was better.

Refills on drinks were a little slow, but they did eventually come. Towards the end of the meal, the plates were cleared and a surprise ice cream sundae with raspberry and fudge sauces was laid before the birthday girl in the group. The mandatory Mexican hat that accompanied the sundae and had been worn by countless other celebrants without the mere thought of disinfection was not well received and I would suffer sever penalties if I were to post the incriminating photo on in this blog. Hilarity did ensue! 

Overall, the service was decent, the food, although not truly authentic, was gringo flavorful and served hot. The overall value was good with a total bill of only $40.64 with a 20% tip! Right at 10 bucks a head. Not too bad for bunch of south-of-the-border brothers. Try them out, you will probably like them. 

What the Crap is a Crêpe?

Pardon moi, señor! Have you ever tried to find a decent place in which to have a normal run-of-the-mill meal with your friends or family but couldn't quite decide where to go or who had the best food within the range of your social status? So, what do you do? You grab the nearest smart phone and search for the best diner or bar food or local dive around; you search high and low in every corner of the net only to find everything you never wanted to know about some hoity-toity French restaurant where you can't pronounce the entrees and you couldn't afford to buy an appetizer there even if you sold one of your kidneys to be served up as the daily special at Che Guevaras? We've all been there. 


If there was only a place you could turn to whenever you wanted to try somewhere new to eat, or you were just passing through and wanted to find a great burger that included both a normal bun and actual ground beef? You know, a world of never-ending happiness, where you can always see the sun. Day . . . or night. A world with food fit for a prince, but made by a pauper. A world with a guide to all things yummy and all things, well, not so yummy. The wide, wide, world of . . . Foodie Pebbles.


I come from a long line of chefs, short order cooks, restaurateurs, innkeepers and masturbators (very satisfying line of work, I might add). So I come by the love of food naturally and I enjoy sharing my experiences and criticisms with everyone I meat. Maybe I don't know the difference between a French oak barrel wine and an American one, but I do know the difference between crap and crêpe . . . the spelling.